Amalgam Comics -This Subconscious Ain't Big Enough For The Four Of Us -Dan Hill

Apologies for the lateness of this. I had it sitting as a draft still. Doh!

PAGE TWENTY TWO

22.1
1/12 PANEL: ON BRUCE WAYNE (AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D) as he stands in a small, dark, concrete room. He’s wearing the usual SHIELD suit and gun holsters. He looks anxious.

1 BRUCE WAYNE Okay Al, give me a sitrep.

22.2
1/12 PANEL: ON ALFRED DUGAN (this universe’s version of Alfred and Dum Dum Dugan). He has the thin and refined look of his DC counterpart but wears a bowler hat, SHIELD combat suit and has a cigar clenched between his teeth.

2 ALFRED A S.H.I.E.L.D assault team pulled him out of a HYDRA detention facility in Uzbekistan last night. We have no idea how long he’s been there.

22.3
WIDE PANEL: From Dugan and Bruce’s POV we are looking through a pane of one way glass and into an interrogation room. In the room is a metal table and a set of chairs either end, all bolted to the concrete floor.

Sitting in one of the chairs is DICK GRAYSON (or as he’s also known in this universe, Moonwing). He’s wearing an all in one orange jumpsuit, the kind you might see on detainees at Guantanamo. 

3 ALFRED (O.P) Signs of torture, physical scarring and so on. He’s unresponsive. Won’t answer to Grayson, Drake or Spector. 

4 CAP Grayson had a sense of humour. Drake was all business. And Spector?

22.4
On Bruce. He speaks into his wrist communicator. 

5 CAP Well, Spector was a maniac.

6 BRUCE I’ll take it from here, Al.

7 BRUCE Moonwing...

22.5
ANGLE on Dick. His head is bowed still. He doesn’t seem to be responding at all. 

8 BRUCE (RADIO) ...can you hear me?

9 CAP Okay. Heh. Stop me if you’ve heard this one...

22.6
CUT TO a TWO SHOT on Dugan and Bruce. Both are taken aback.

10 DICK (O.P) ...Br-Bruce?

22.7
CUT TO Dick. He's turned towards us/the mirror. The slightest of smiles plays across his lips. It’s hard to tell whether it’s relief or something more sinister.

11 DICK Is that really you?

12 CAP Three split personalities walk into a bar...

The Spectre - Hits the Fan - Ray Wonsowski

Layout:
123
444
444

Panel 1 - establishing shot: inside the Ha-Ha-Hacienda.  It is abandoned, and is decorated with the requisite pranks, toys, and giant Joker cards.  BATMAN crouches down close over the naked body of Crispus Allen (we do not know if he is unconcious or dead).  ETRIGAN watches from behind.

BATMAN:  He's its host.  How could he possibly get separated from it?

ETRIGAN:  The spectral agent of the Deity - suffers from a crisis of identity...


Panel 2 - close-up on ETRIGAN as he thoughtfully elucidates...

ETRIGAN:  The Presence has no longer need for a clumsy vengeful tool - and so decreed the Spectre "Spirit of Redemption", the Almighty Fool...

ETRIGAN:  And during this spiritual changing of the guard - the host, at his weakest, went down, and hard...


Panel 3 - ETRIGAN pokes BATMAN in the chest, who has a "don't touch me" look on his face.  ETRIGAN, however, is dead serious.

ETRIGAN:  Thou knowest the clown has magicked before, but lacks the discipline - He nearly beat us last time, and more - we can not let him win.

ETRIGAN:  Be not concerned with reason, it matters not the wherefore's or what's - No time, creation trembles...


Panel 4 - bottom 2/3 of the page.  The JOKER is now the SPECTRE.  The green cape swirls about his white,  almost skeletally skinny, body, and the hood covers the eyes as always, but the blood-red rictus is laughing maniacally as he juggles moons while standing in Jupiter's Great Red Spot.

CAPTION:  (Etrigan) ...The Spectre's gone completely nuts...

...to be continued...

The Joker - I Couldn't Draw To Save My Life - Danial Carroll

[The astute of you may notice that this is eerily similar to an old play-at-home script I wrote back in July. It was mentioned at the time that the said piece would better suit The Joker, so I decided to do just that and resurrect it, giving it a little revamp at the same time. Laziness, or genius? You decide :P]

PAGE ONE (ten panels)

PANEL 1. A man is casually walking along a footpath, passing a dark alley.

PANEL 2. Close-up on the man’s shocked face. There is a white-gloved hand covering his mouth.

PANEL 3. The man is pulled quickly into the blackness of alley.

PANEL 4. From the man’s POV, kneeling on the ground, we see The Joker standing before him. He is pointing a miniature pistol at the man with one hand, and holding out a paper and pencil with the other.

JOKER:

Draw me a picture of Batman… watching over Gotham.

PANEL 5. We see the man, kneeling before The Joker. He’s taking the paper and pencil.

MAN:

What? Why?

JOKER:

Just do it!

PANEL 6. The man is drawing on the paper.

MAN:

OK, OK.

PANEL 7. We see a close-up of a crudely-drawn sketch of Batman in his iconic perch atop a gargoyle.

MAN (O/P):

Here.

PANEL 8. The Joker has put a pair of spectacles up to his eyes in mocking art critic fashion.

JOKER:

No, no, no, this will never do.

JOKER:

There's no style, no substance. You've completely missed the essence of the subject.

PANEL 9. The Joker is pointing the pistol at the man.

JOKER:

So much potential, wasted.

JOKER:

Shame really.

MAN:

What are you talking about? I'm not--

PANEL 10. The same shot as the last but with the pistol firing.

SFX:

BLAM

[P.S. Happy New Year everyone!! :)]

The Joker - You Call This Insanity? - Matt Duarte

The Joker in “You Call This Insanity?” by Matt Duarte

Seven panels in this page, the first six in a normal two by three grid, with the last panel being small and wide across the page.

Panel 1

Description: Ra’s al Ghul is talking with one of his soldiers inside a big cave. Ra’s looks a bit concerned and with a curious look on his face. In the background, we can see a Lazarus Pit that is bubbling, as if there were someone inside.

SOLDIER: ...and that’s when we contacted you sir, before we approached the intruder.

RA’S AL GHUL: And you said all the guards were killed?

SOLDIER: Affirmative, sir. They are all dead.

RA’S AL GHUL: So it is not the Detective. It must be someone else...

Panel 2

Description: Ra’s is now standing defiantly next to the Lazarus Pit and shouting. Inside of it, there is a man submerged.

RA’S AL GHUL: To trespass my property and kill my men is the gravest of insults. Stop hiding, come out, and face me. The Demon’s Head is the last thing you shall ever see, I guarantee it.

SFX: HA HA HA HA HA

Panel 3

Description: The Joker’s head is emerging out of the Lazarus pit, the liquid just reaching his chin, with a huge grin.

JOKER: Oh, Razzie! A game of hide and seek? You KNOW I am always up for that?

Panel 4

Description: Ra’s reaction face of shock and surprise at the man who has just come out of the pit. Meanwhile, Joker is swimming leisurely in the pit.

RA’S AL GHUL: Joker? Why are you here?

JOKER: I was bored.

Panel 5

Description: The Joker is now floating comfortably on his back in the Lazarus Pit. Ra’s is still standing next to it, with his back to the reader.

JOKER: You know, Razzie, I was expecting an eight alarm chili of insanity from an infamous Lazarus Pit, but this is more like a mild Tabasco sauce.

Panel 6

Description: Joker is now walking out of the Lazarus pit. He is wearing a set of Batman swimming trunks.

JOKER: I have to say, immortality is quite refreshing though!

Panel 7

Description: The Joker is now grabbing Ra’s, with one of his arms around his shoulder. He is extending the other one directly at the reader with his palm open. As always, he is grinning maniacally, while Ra’s has a look on his face as if he would want nothing else but to kill The Joker.

JOKER: SO! Razzie, I think I’m going to start coming here on the weekends. You don’t mind right? We’ll make great neighbors!

JOKER: Oh, and don’t put any more guards, I’ll just have to kill them again.

JOKER: HA HA HA HA

Next: Pool party!

The Joker - Who's Laughing Now? - Sime McDonald

1. Maggie Sawyer is staring dead ahead towards us, the reader. Her expression is pained and her hand is bunched into a fist, pressed against the transparent wall of the prison cell she's looking into. We can't see the inmate from this angle. Batman - entirely cloaked in shadow, only his piercing white eyes visible - is behind her, looking in the same direction.

MAGGIE SAWYER (1)

Commissioner Gordon is alive.

We stopped the Joker from releasing his toxin into the water supply.

You got him back here, to Arkham.

Standard day for the GCPD, am I right?

MAGGIE SAWYER (2)

So what's brought this on?

What's changed?

2. Change of angle. We can now see the inmate. It's the Joker (?) - albeit a very muscled, broad-shouldered Joker, unlike any we've seen before. Because it's not him. It's not the Joker. It's Bruce Wayne. He's propped up against the far wall, drugged up to his eyeballs to keep him quiet. He's bruised and battered from his earlier confrontation. Standing over him is a squad, rotund fellow in a long trench coat. He's got a leather case open beside him. Meanwhile, Maggie Sawyer is still looking at him from outside.

MAGGIE SAWYER (1)

Herr Brauer comes with quite the reputation.

I read his file. Specializes in electrotherapy.

Instigates what many consider torturous methods to acquire questionable results.

MAGGIE SAWYER (2)

Why're we using him? Why now?

3. Inside the cell, Herr Brauer leans over the Joker, a syringe in his hand. The Joker is barely conscious. 

THE JOKER

Mmmnot... mmnot jokerrrrr...

HERR BRAUER

Hush, my friend.

I'm going to fix you.

4. Maggie Sawyer turns away from the cell, glaring at Batman, still in the shadows, non-responsive.

THE JOKER

(off panel)

AAAAAAAAAAH!!!

MAGGIE SAWYER

You're not going to answer me, are you?

Screw you.

5. She storms off, away from Batman.

MAGGIE SAWYER

Don't know why we put up with you crap...

6. And now, the big reveal. Tight on Batman, on his lips, on those scarred, horrible lips stretched into a recognizable grin. This isn't Batman - this is the Joker, dressed as Batman.

BATMAN / JOKER

(small)

Ha.

The Joker – Can You Help Me, Doctor? – Ryan K Lindsay

1. The Joker sits across a long table in a dark room. There’s some strange lighting on him coming from the other side of the table, it’s where Dr Phosphorus sits though we can’t see him yet.

Joker: I want you to take over. Aren’t you happy?

2. Dr Phosphorus sits opposite Joker, he’s right down the other end of the table. He’s wearing a shirt with sleeves rolled up and a vest over the top. His burning body glows out the sleeves and the open collar.

Dr Phosphorus: Why the fuck would you want to walk away now and leave me all your stuff?
Dr Phosphorus: You’re about the only clown in this business, no pun intended, who I actually respect and now you’re going, and you’re going to give it all away.

3. Joker smiles.

Joker: I’m not giving it all away.
Joker: There’s always method to my madness.

4. Dr Phosphorus leans back in his seat.

Dr Phosphorus: Forgive me if I don’t see it. Losing traction is always a bad idea; letting others work your gristle and hard work is even worse.
Dr Phosphorus: I don’t get it.

5. Joker stands up, buttons his suit jacket, a grim smile on his lips.

Joker: I’m not giving it away, I’m merely storing it in a safe place.
Joker: I’ve chosen you because I’m absolutely certain if things go sour I can still take everything back from you with minimal muscle.

6. Joker walks over to a girl sitting in the corner, she is in a wheelchair. She doesn't look like a picture of perfect health.

Joker: And rest assured I will be back.
Joker: Business should only take me nine months. Maybe a few extra weeks if I’m feeling happy.

7. Joker walks out of the room, pushing the girl in front of him, we see her cradling her belly like there’s a bubbling bog within her.

Joker: Keep my seat warm, Doctor. I’ll call you if there are any…complications.
Girl: When she comes, I want laughing gas…can I have some?

The Joker - The Reason - Ben Rosenthal

The Joker has just caused the deaths of hundreds of innocent people. Batman has him cornered in an alley, pinned to the wall.

1. A close up of The Joker’s face, a large smirk on his face as he talks to Batman. A thin line of blood trickles from the corner of his mouth.

JOKER
Heh heh. So do it already. C’mon Bats, I’ve killed hundreds this time. Be a man, end it.

2. A close up of Batman’s stoic face.

JOKER
You can’t though, can you? I’ve worked it out. Wanna know why?

3. Same as Panel 1, with The Joker looking more riled up, eyes becoming more excitable, as he prepares for his big reveal.

JOKER
Not because of some supercilious moral code of the hero. Not because you don’t have it in you. No, you’ll never kill me because...

4. Batman’s stoic face, lips tighter than usual.

JOKER
You love me.

Heh, heh, heh...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

The Joker - Coffee Is For Closers! - Rol Hirst

I’m thinking 9-panel grid in homage to Killing Joke and because, damn it, I need 9 panels if I’ve only got one page of Joker.


Panel One.

Close up of a coffee vending machine. Liquid pours into a plastic cup, making a coffee.

HARVEY BULLOCK (off-panel): New coffee machine’s even worse than the old one.

Panel Two.

We’re in a corridor in Gotham City Police Headquarters. Harvey Bullock is talking to Commissioner James Gordon. Bullock offers Gordon a coffee from the machine.

GORDON: Is he talking?

BULLOCK: Nothing that makes no sense. About what you’d expect from this freak.

BULLOCK: Want one?

GORDON: (Sigh.) I suppose I’m going to need it.

Panel Three.

They stand outside an interview room, preparing to go inside. Gordon takes a sip of his coffee and cringes – it tastes horrible.

GORDON: That really is disgusting.

BULLOCK: Not as disgusting as what’s in this room. You ask me—

GORDON: I don’t. No time for that old debate now, Harvey…

Panel Four.

Gordon pushes open the door for them to enter. Inside, the Joker sits at a table wearing prison whites, handcuffed.

GORDON: Let’s just get this over with, shall we?

JOKER: Conditioner! Just what I needed! My hair’s been so dry and flyaway today…

Panel Five.

Still holding his coffee, Commissioner Gordon stares at the Joker. He’s got no time for games. He just wants answers.

GORDON: Where is he, Joker?

GORDON: What have you done with Batman?

Panel Six.

The Joker looks mock-thoughtful as if he's giving the question serious consideration.

JOKER: Batman? Bat…man? Oh… Batman! Why, Commissioner, the answer’s been on the tip of your tongue…

JOKER: Where’s Batman?

Panel Seven.

Gordon spits out the coffee he’s been drinking as he runs from the room. The Joker throws his head back and starts laughing.

JOKER: You’re drinking him!

JOKER: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Panel Eight.

Harvey and the Commissioner struggle to pull the front off the coffee vending machine as the Joker’s laughter echoes down the corridor.

JOKER (off-panel): Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

HARVEY: No… Commish… You don’t really think—

GORDON: Just get it open!

Panel Nine.

Sure enough, when they pull open the vending machine they discover Batman inside. Batman isn’t dead, but he has been drugged so he’s helpless and immobile. Tubes are strapped to the veins on his wrists and in his neck, pumping his blood out and into the GCPD’s coffee whenever anyone buys a drink. The Commissioner stares in horror. Bullock starts to dry heave. The Joker keeps on laughing.

JOKER (off-panel): Hooohahahahahahahahahahahahaaa! (Snicker!)

Why The Joker?

Why The Joker?

Why... The Joker...?

Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Hoo hahahahahahahaaa!

Haahahahahahahahahaa!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaaa!

Why The Joker...?

Why so serious?